Lucky to Live in this Day and Age!

Went to a lovely Vow Renewel ceremony this weekend in Montecito (near Santa Barbara) with Jedi. I think what I liked about it best was that when you arrived at the venue, you had drinks and abundant h’ordeuves before the ceremony and then dinner afterwards. It was held at a the Mother of the Groom’s residence and the weather was cool and did not become too chilly until late evening. Guests were encouraged to bring their drinks along to the ceremony which added a festive quality. The woman who presided over the ceremony was the same one who had married the couple a year previously.

The personal component that I found most appealing was the favor given to guests. It was a homemade cookbook full of recipes contributed by friends and family. If you have been reading my blog for a while then you know that food and love are synonimous to me so they were sharing their love with these recipes. Nice touch.

In the past few years I have been in and to many weddings and was a bit burned out by them (please take this as no reflection on the friends or family who have married, I always have a wonderful time and do enjoy being able to be a part of people’s important day). However, I realize now that my expectations of weddings is rather colored by my childhood perception of Mom and Dad’s ceremony.

My parent’s wedding, what I have heard about it from my Mother was that it not all she had hoped. Many of the decisions that brides take for granted today were not afforded her. Aspects of her wedding that anyone would consider personal and important were dictated to her. Despite this, my Mom has always said that she didn’t care about all those things, she just wanted to marry my Father and if that was the price to pay, to let her Mother and Mother-in-Law run the show, so-be-it. Very heartfelt, very sweet, but also bittersweet in my child-eye’s estimation since to marry my Father, Mom had to sacrifice many of her little girl hopes to the practicality of being on good terms with relatives.

Marriage itself has changed so much from decade to decade and country to country. Marriages in America for the most part have to do with love and compatibility rather then money, land alliances, religion, or social status. I am most assuredly thankful to my Granparents who made the courageous journey from their homelands whether by choice or necessity to a new life, new language, and new land. On a daily basis I take for granted that I can choose my own mate, when the concept is relatively new-fangled in the grand scheme of history. If time travel becomes available in my lifetime I’m staying put.