Since returning from our trip to East Coast I have been suffering a visit from my old friend negativity. I am upset about the state of the world, the fighting in Israel, continued death and destruction in Iraq, stupid anti-semetic drunk actors, and starving and homeless in my own neighborhood. My feelings about myself are also rather bleak. I’m back on Weight Watchers trying to lose the weight that took almost a year to lose the first time…again. My migraines were back last week with a vengeance and an entire day was wasted in sleep (my favorite pastime, yes, but I prefer to choose when).
On the upside I have been dieting and getting some exercise (which is better then the none that I had been doing). I have also been catching up on some books I have been meaning to read for awhile (life is short, books are abundant! I hope they have libraries in heaven). Overall the state of my mind is one of feeling a lingering sadness over my own powerlessness to make the world a better place on a large scale. Realistically, there is a lot I am already doing, but with the recent crisis it doesn’t feel very effective. I am an armchair activist and this is a source of frustration for me because I become absolutely paralyzed when I think about all the things I could and should be doing for future generations.
I have not felt like writing lately because everything that is typed onto my screen strikes me as being so insignificant to the news from Darfur, Israel, and Iraq. So, dear reader, please be patient with me and I will turn this attitude around and get in a better state of mind to entertain and enlighten you.
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2 comments:
I love you!!!! It's OK to be sad about the world. Just remember it is not you who has made the world a scary place.
Can relate.
This has been an especially rough year, less about the divorce than me dealing with crap from the past (much of it financial) that's held me back.
It's been an educational year, and a lot of progress has been made; my moods have even been steadier than ever -- on the few days a month that I am depressed, it's been deeper, darker and scarier than before.
I'm simply tired of the frustration and powerlessness that you refer to, and quite simply, I'm tired of having to deal with ANYTHING. I just want to sleep. (Amazingly I write some of my funniest stories when I'm this depressed: go figure.)
Am hoping you're feeling better, my friend. Knowing that I have friends and family that love me gets me through, for now. And, of course, that love is returned.
Love ya, sis.
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