Charge: Odd Food Collector, Verdict: Guilty

I like going to all sorts of specialty markets and buying obscure or difficult to find items. In the past, these purchases have included dried grated turnip, jars of dulce de leche, hunks of sweet sticky guava paste, Jerusalem artichokes, star fruit, tahini, and kasha. Now some of the previous list you might recognize from Ralph’s or Von’s, but would you know what to do with them once you get them home? Yep, me either. Therefore languishing in fridge drawers and cupboards are the lotus root and red bean paste that seemed so inspiring while browsing the aisles of an Asian market near my house. Yet they keep each other company in the refrigerator awaiting the day when I will reach for them to inspire and motivate my outrageously misguided palate.

Other offenses include yummy, delicious, amazing anchovy wrapped capers in extra virgin olive oil. In my defense I bought these full well intending to eat them. They were a purchase made in the depths of nostalgia for the wondrous meals my Grandparents would cobble together of various pickled items, leftover roast beef, and vegetables galore. Never would I have thought that seedless rye bread spread with a thin coating of unsalted real dairy whipped butter and a smidge of real mayonnaise topped with several anchovy filets (looking almost flowerlike around their caper center) could taste like heaven. Albeit, salty, full-fat heaven, but such simplicity can be the right combinations to make me wax nostalgic. What I never counted on when I bought the tin of anchovies was how incredibly difficult it is to find fresh baked seedless rye here on the West Coast. Yeah, I know, cry me a river, my life is SO hard.

Is there something unmentionable lurking in your cabinets or veggie drawer? Maybe in the dark, cold climate of your freezer? Let me know, I don’t want to be the only one collecting weird foodstuff.