Guilty Pleasure

So my best friend got me watching "So You Think You Can Dance" this season and it is my newest guilty pleasure. Not only do I love all the different dance genres that are featured, but tonight LL Cool J appeared on the show debuting his new song, "Baby". I was a teen in the late 80s/early 90s and remember being seduced by LL's silky smooth vocals on "I Need Love". Since that time, he's been consistently putting out fabulous music with energy and ingenuity. It was great seeing him on a show that featured LA Ballet Dancers in a Pas De Deux. It shows the enormous appeal of music and dance combined and I love that the diversity is evident throughout the show.

Don't fritter away your happiness.

When I am upset, food is my chosen solace. Like many people out there a donut or fries are not only enjoyable after a sucky day of work or an unfulfilling job search, but they are also a reward for surviving the not so fun aspects of being a responsible adult. Unlike normal addictive substance that people can quite cold turkey (alcohol, nicotine, caffeine), there's no way to just give up food. Lately my relationship with food has not been all that stellar. For years I have been a secretive and shameful eater...I'm not really sure who I am hiding from since there's no one around to judge me except myself. I guess taking it one meal at a time is the best encouragement I can give myself. After a really bad work day (one of many lately) I was able to avoid the donut shops and the drive-thrus on my way home from work and instead stopped at the great wholesale grocery store where I bought cherries, grapefruit, and nectarines. Picked up some beautiful dried fruits too. Not exactly sugar-free, but at least their natural sweets to tame my out of control sweet tooth.

I continue to be a work in progress and will probably battle my weight for years to come, but for now, I am going to just work on today.

Which Celebrity Chef am I?

Which Celebrity Chef are You?

You are PAULA DEEN! You are all about getting back to your roots! It ain't about bein' fancy or low-fat, it's about FAMILY, FRIENDS and FUN! Paula's Home Cooking would be THE IDEAL SET for you!

How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

Ode to the Headache

My constant friend for four weeks straight
Not acting myself, a crabby friend and mate
The throbbing feeling inside my brain
Insistent feelings of tension and pain

The ongoing search to find a cure
Yoga, pills, sleep, lose their allure
When none work, none relieve the ache
It's all I can do to function, more then I can take

Go away you evil fiend
Leave me alone, stop making me mean
I want the freedom to think pain free
Doctor find a cure and give it to me!!!

ABCs of Me

Courtesy of my wonderful cousin, The Angel Forever!

A = Age: 33
B = Bed size: Queen
C = Chores you hate: Vacuuming, I just hate the sound!
D = Dessert you love: Pie, any type of fruit is great, but cherry, apple, blueberry, strawberry-rhubarb, and gooseberry are my favorites.
E = Essential start your day item: caffeine in coffee or diet coke form.
F = Favorite actor(s): Don Cheadle, Morgan Freeman, and John Barrowman.
G = Gold or Silver: Yellow gold
H = Height: 5′1”
I = Instruments you play: I think the question should actually be, what didn’t I play?
Piano
Flute
French horn
Trumpet
Saxophone
Suxaphone
Tuba
Guitar
Violin
J= Job title: Senior Rep…it’s a glorified Customer Service title.
K= Kids: Just my husband.
L = Living arrangements: House
M = My name is: Honey
N = Nicknames: Megastein and Vidby
O = Overnight hospital stay: I was born premature and hung out in an incubator for awhile.
P= Pets: None
Q = Favorite quote: "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be
achieved by understanding." - Albert Einstein
R = Right or left handed: Right handed
S = Siblings: One sister, one brother, and 4 guys who are brothers of the heart.
T = Time you woke up today: 8AM
U = Unique about you: I like going to movies alone, but rarely get to do it.
V = Vegetable you hate: raw tomatos
W = Worst habit: procrasination
X = X-Rays you’ve had : wrist, ankle, knee, back, teeth, head, shoulders
Y = Yummy food you make: matzo ball soup
Z = Zodiac Sign: Libra

They found who did it!!!!

A friend of mine who sat in front of me during Algebra 3&4 in High School was murdered in 1995. I have often thought of her beauty, kindness, strength, and terrific sense of humor and how it was cut short by some horrible person. In the past I have contacted my hometown police department to find out whether an arrest had been made in the case. Unfortunately each time I called I would find that no progress had been made in the case or that the person I spoke with could not release information to me because I am not a family member. Periodically I would search the internet using her name to see if anything could be gleaned from the information superhighway. Over the intervening years I sort of gave up on ever seeing a resolution in the case. Thankfully, tonight I tried searching her name again and the above article was what I found. Hallelujah, they caught the damn bastard who snuffed out the life of a loving mother, sweet and loyal friend, and just a wonderful human being. Thanks to the police department for never giving up!

Stories, stories, stories

I yearn for stories, the thirst to know to people to understand what motivates them, how they lived their lives, what they felt their purpose here was. Mostly, I want to know my family members, my grandparents, yet they are all dead, they mostly live on only in pictures and brief snippets revealed from older relatives. To have known them as a child with memories already quickly faded, leaves aching holes of sadness and regret. If only I had understood then what I know now, we all die, the legacies we leave behind are for those who love us and those we love. I look forward to being reunited in heaven, but for now, I seek stories.

I have been reading two books about WWII, in a bid to feel closer to my paternal grandparents who both immigrated to America from Germany. They were brave, moving to a country where they did not know the language, coming here with brother and sisters instead of parents who choose not to leave the old country. My dream is to someday travel to Germany and see the places they once called home. I often wonder if my ancestors are proud of me, if this seemingly easy life in comparison to the world they grew up in. Whole countries do not thirst to exterminate me because of my religion, I know no other language then my mother tongue, and have food and shelter without hardship. My parents have not been carted to the death camps for slaughter. And yet, that which they sacrificed so much for, their religion, I do not practice with fervor. For the most part, I am assimilated, my Judaism is my heritage, more culturally a part of me then a daily devotional religious practice.

My maternal lineage is all but a mystery to me. I know that my Nana and Papa's parents came from the Ukraine, but little more then that. It should be enough to know that they were good people, hard working ambitious and generous. My Papa was a tall man with a booming voice who called me "Missy" and held me on his shoulders high in the air. Nana would paint my nails and tell me that my hands looked like hers, a fact I hold close to my heart. Memories of them are growing ephemeral, every year a little more misty and obscure. I miss them all, and feel adrift in the large world without concrete stories of them to keep on paper, to know they won't fail when my own ability to remember has already begun to fade.

Work

Walking down to my car tonight, I felt astonished, had another day already passed me by? It went so quickly with no feelings of satisfaction, pride, or redemption. I know that there are people out there making a difference, actually devoting their time to bettering the world we live in and yet here I am, just earning a paycheck. What happened to the idea of a career instead of a job? Am I merely a cog in the wheel of the large machine that is the entertainment industry. I'm certainly not the first person to feel that they're just marking time until the weekend.

So, if I am a solution oriented individual (like my resume claims), what can be done? Where to go from here? Guess it might be time to take some classes, figure out what I'm truly good at and maybe even enjoy what I'm doing.

When it comes to career aspirations, I have hundreds, and I mean that sincerely. Since I like writing stories, I often place myself in heroic jobs, jobs that strike me as truly giving back to the community, you know, EMT, nurse, criminalist, forensic psychologist, sheriff's deputy, in all truth, I could never go back to the school for the amount of time and necessary to obtain a degree beyond the BA I already have.

That's when I get completely nuts and believe that I should be a chef. It sounds like a fun and creative profession, but the reality is that it is a crapload of workand repetitious as hell. A bookstore would be very cool, especially the discount.