Me-made Quiz

So, I’m going to do a little quiz now, but this one is made up by me (feel free to share your own answers in the comments sections) therefore I will only be addressing information that I like and things I have not had the opportunity to let others know about me. Here goes nothing:

1. Most memorable scene in a TV show:
The watercooler roulette scene in Moonlighting between Viola and MacGilicuddy is my most memorable scene (unless you want to count every deliciously terrible episode of Misfits of Science staring the late Dean Martin Jr. and Courtney Cox WAY before her “Friends” days). If you remember this scene then you are truly blessed since it is one of the most hilarious and ridiculously conceived ideas to be broadcast at the time. Curtis Armstrong (Booger to Revenge of the Nerds fans) played the guy you loved to laugh at on Moonlighting, Herbert Viola. He was Miss Depesto’s night in tarnished armor and brought a lot of heart to the series.

2. What is the 80s song you like to sing in your car all alone?
This one is a toss up between “White Wedding” by Billy Idol (since I love imitating his sexy sneer) and Pat Benatar’s “We Belong” (I secretly believe when I am alone dramatically croning this melodic tune that I really could’ve been a rock star diva…please, if you know better do not disabuse me of this notion since on really bad days at work it pleases me).

3. Your idea of something funny that few others find funny?
There is something innately amusing about people standing around while their dogs are doing their business waiting to pick up the ahhhem…products of elimination. I used to walk my exes dog a lot and had no idea where to look while she was taking care of business. You shouldn’t stare right?

4. What is the one product that people would be surprised to find out you cannot live without?
Tom’s of Maine Apricot Tooth Paste for Dry Mouth, with my lichen planus this stuff is a G-dsend! I am also fond of the Mango-Orange, but it’s not as delicate in flavor.

5. If one movie summed up your perspective on society what would it be?
This one’s easy (of course since I make the questions why shouldn’t it be?), Labyrinth (yes, the children’s movie…yes, with Muppets and David Bowie…sigh, he’s so hot…) because one verbal motif of the movie is the situations Sarah the main character faces are “not fair”. She repeats this phrase several times throughout the movie and it is a common thought I have that the world is inherently unfair. And the world can be unfair in a variety of ways, be it what country you were born in (especially important if you are woman facing any number of countries where your rights are significantly less then a mans), if your parents are well off or if they are good parents, if you have experienced an accident or violent act, if you medically must face a variety of illnesses be they terminal or not, if you were blessed with a high IQ, fast metabolism, pretty face, etc. they all affect our perception of the world and whether it is fair or not. The one thing I always take away from the movie is that despite the fairness of life it is in our hands to choose our attitude and how we respond to the rough patches we encounter.

6. What is the one book you believe all adults should read?
Wow, I ask difficult questions don’t I? Well, this is hard one for me, but the one book I believe to contain beauty or word, elegance in character, and vital social commentary is John Irving’s The Cider House Rules. This book addresses the loneliness of being an orphan, the oblivion sought by those with tremendous responsibility, the desperation of seeking outlawed abortions, and the beauty and sadness of a love that cannot be fulfilled. It is simple effective narrative with heartfelt characters that make you laugh, cry, and experience their lives, their hopes, fears, dreams, and loves to a very realistic degree. I love this book.

7. A food that someone made that you wish you could experience again or even make yourself?
My German Grandmother’s apple cake, it was so moist and delicious with fresh apples, not too sweet cake, and a cinnamon scent that haunts my dreams.

8. Tell us about your first kiss?
My first kiss was playing spin the bottle at a Halloween party when I was 12 years old. I was dressed as Scarlett O’Hara and kissed a boy in my class who had really big front teeth. It was in front of all the popular kids from school and to this day I believe I was invited to this boys & girls party because my best friend was extremely well liked in the mainstream circles. Suffice to say that the kiss was not all that and a bag-o-chips, in fact I distinctly remember writing in my journal that night that our teeth clashed when we were leaning towards eachother over the bottle chipping my lower incisor and that he tasted like salsa…BLLLECCCHHHH!

9. Person you wanted to be most like when you were young (no parents allowed as answers)?
I definitely wanted to be Debbie Gibson. I was seriously gaga about her clothes, singing, and although I never liked Electric Youth perfume I admired her willingness to diversify.

10. Person you most want to be like as an adult?
This one’s easy, I want to be like me, but maybe with a little bit more energy, patience, and money (hey, I’m not going to lie, but I wouldn’t mind being able to donate 80% of my fortune to charity and still have enough money left over to buy an island and never work again).

The Blessing of Modern Medicine

About 2 weeks ago Jedi had surgery to repair a multitude of problems with his left shoulder. I won’t bore you dear reader with the ins-n-outs and medical jargon associated with the problem, but I will tell you how incredibly thankful I am to the medical staff at the hospital where Jedi had his procedure. The doctors and nurses were kind, respectful, and patient in explaining every minute detail from pre-op to post-op. Jedi’s injury was not life-threatening, but it certainly put a damper on his ability to enjoy life. The pain he had because the joint had been pulled out of the socket on several occasions was not compatible with his busy lifestyle.

The surgeon was able to repair the devastated tendons, ligaments, and muscles all through 4 small incisions around Jedi’s shoulder. The procedure took 2 hours with a post surgery recovery time of about the same. Jedi was even able to enjoy food that very night following his afternoon in the OR. The anesthesiologist was most instrumental in putting my fears to rest. I have only been under a general anesthetic once in my life and have often been weary of having anything done where I would need to be “put under”. Dr. L (the aforementioned anesthesiologist) was able to explain that for surgeries like Jedi’s there is no need for a muscle relaxant like Versed to be given along with the sleepy medicine so there would be absolutely no chance of anesthesia awareness. Although I know there is an extremely low percentage of people who experience this troubling phenomenom, I was relieved to find out there was zero opportunity for it to happen here.

Now all that remains is for Jedi to do his daily physical therapy and get his arm stong enough to use without the support of the sling. It will be about two more weeks before he is able to do that. Yesterday he felt good enough to begin excercising on his bike again. I’m very proud of him for taking care of himself and his body.

Book Review: On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (Audio Book)

I picked up this book because of unresolved emotions I have concerning the deaths of several close loved ones. I was hoping it would alleviate some of the guilt and regret I feel over either not seeing them shortly before their deaths or not attending their funeral. Rationally, I know that there is nothing I can do to change my actions of the past. Sometimes I could not get away from work to see the dying person, or I felt I did not have the funds to travel to their funeral (this is untrue, since I know my parents would have helped me pay for any travel expenses, but alas, I did use this excuse I realize now to protect my own fragile self from the prospect of facing the frightening specter of my own mortality).

Kubler-Ross’s book focuses on the essential dialog between medical staff, terminal patients, and their family to make the process of dying a more acceptable and natural part of patient care. The ability to be open and honest about death allows the person dying to discuss their family’s future without them, get their finances and possessions in order and to also express their end of life care wishes, needs, and wants. Part of end of life care is whether to obtain a Do Not Resuscitate order (DNR). Two years ago when my last remaining grandparent, my paternal Grandmother, passed away, I assisted my brother, father, aunt, and uncle in cleaning out her small apartment at an assisted living facility, the DNR order was still posted on the wall in her room. It was a concrete reminder of my Grandmother’s participation in the choices faced by people who are on the road to dying. While it was shocking to see the DNR (I would’ve expected that it would be removed along with the various items related to my Grandmother’s passing, I was strangely comforted to see it so out in the open where no one could deny it or mistake it for anything but what it was.

If you are in the medical profession and have not read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s On Death and Dying, I urge you to do so. The human component in healthcare can often be overlooked in the rush to “cure” the patient or to merely prolong life. The objective of the book is to excavate a patient’s needs and concerns regarding their deaths and to assist communicating those to family members and medical staff. This is a truly beautiful book and can be a good introduction for those faced with the numerous emotions brought up when a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness. I was comforted by Kubler-Ross’s many descriptions of people who were angry with their loved ones for dying; knowing now that my longstanding rage over a high school friend’s suicide was not only understandable, but also normal.

For years I have held onto the unreasonable and irrational guilt and shame over not being with an ex-boyfriend when his father died after a very short and intense battle against pancreatic cancer. The times we spent in the hospital were filled with a humanity and love that I cherished even when my relationship with the man’s son was crumbling. Mostly, I think what this book has helped me to do is honor and remember the people who have died that touched my life through their love, friendship, and generosity of spirit. Missing them no longer feels like a gaping hole inside. It is with peace and love that I can imagine my loved ones who have died and with a full heart I can celebrate their lives and not continue grieving their deaths.

A Movie for all Humanity

Documentaries are mostly a difficult sell for modern cinemas, but the new tour de force An Inconvenient Truth starring former Vice President Al Gore should have no trouble finding an audience. Davis Guggenheim has taken Al Gore's presentation on global warming and given it a cinematic style that enables the viewer to connect with the former presidential candidate and experience his driving passion to remedy the many wrongs enacted against our environment. The Al Gore of this movie is thoughtful, impassioned, and provacative in his powerful explanation of Global Warming and it's impending consequences. If after seeing this movie you are not outraged, inspired, and deeply troubled then you didn't get the message. The bottom line is the time for action to save our planet is now. If we do not take advantage of the information provided in this film, as an entire global community, we are dooming all of humankind to extinction.

I am currently in the middle of On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and I was struck by how similar the denial was for some people diagnosed with terminal illnesses. The very same denial about the fact of Global Warming could make it too late for us to have any true impact on the problem that was set in motion by CFCs, fossil fuels, and other pollutants. Will our denial and the denials forced on us by our government who wants to see Global Warming as theory instead of fact be so great that it will doom the planet to another ice age?

One of the more troubling aspects of this film is that Gore has given his presentation on humanity's effects on the planet more then 1,000 times. My sense of disbelief at hearing this number and feeling as if I were seeing NO true changes at least here in America was a mixture of disbelief and anger. America is one of only coutries that is a large emitter of Greenhouse Gases, but has chosen not to ratify the Kyoto Protocol due to negative effects it may have on the economy. However, I am proud to note that several states have implement their own adherance to the Kyoto Protocol with the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative and are working to cleanup the environment with or without the Federal Government.

If you only see one movie this year, this is the one. For yourself, for your love of your children, and for our dependency and adoration of this planet, please do yourself a true service and seek to understand what is going on each and every day right under our noses. I assure you, it is an hour and 40 minutes that will change the way you look at the Earth.

Lucky to Live in this Day and Age!

Went to a lovely Vow Renewel ceremony this weekend in Montecito (near Santa Barbara) with Jedi. I think what I liked about it best was that when you arrived at the venue, you had drinks and abundant h’ordeuves before the ceremony and then dinner afterwards. It was held at a the Mother of the Groom’s residence and the weather was cool and did not become too chilly until late evening. Guests were encouraged to bring their drinks along to the ceremony which added a festive quality. The woman who presided over the ceremony was the same one who had married the couple a year previously.

The personal component that I found most appealing was the favor given to guests. It was a homemade cookbook full of recipes contributed by friends and family. If you have been reading my blog for a while then you know that food and love are synonimous to me so they were sharing their love with these recipes. Nice touch.

In the past few years I have been in and to many weddings and was a bit burned out by them (please take this as no reflection on the friends or family who have married, I always have a wonderful time and do enjoy being able to be a part of people’s important day). However, I realize now that my expectations of weddings is rather colored by my childhood perception of Mom and Dad’s ceremony.

My parent’s wedding, what I have heard about it from my Mother was that it not all she had hoped. Many of the decisions that brides take for granted today were not afforded her. Aspects of her wedding that anyone would consider personal and important were dictated to her. Despite this, my Mom has always said that she didn’t care about all those things, she just wanted to marry my Father and if that was the price to pay, to let her Mother and Mother-in-Law run the show, so-be-it. Very heartfelt, very sweet, but also bittersweet in my child-eye’s estimation since to marry my Father, Mom had to sacrifice many of her little girl hopes to the practicality of being on good terms with relatives.

Marriage itself has changed so much from decade to decade and country to country. Marriages in America for the most part have to do with love and compatibility rather then money, land alliances, religion, or social status. I am most assuredly thankful to my Granparents who made the courageous journey from their homelands whether by choice or necessity to a new life, new language, and new land. On a daily basis I take for granted that I can choose my own mate, when the concept is relatively new-fangled in the grand scheme of history. If time travel becomes available in my lifetime I’m staying put.

Vexation Over Physical Traits

Part of being an individual is coping with some of the things genetics just passes down to your by sheer chance from the fact that you are half of each your mother and father’s DNA.

Now sometimes this works out great, like a certain little Shiloh Pitt-Jolie will not be an ugly duckling where-as Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley’s daughter is a tad bit more challenged in the looks department. However, she has made herself quite appealing despite the conglomeration of her parents co-mingled attributes. There-fore there are no guarantees that when two people who love eachother produce progeny that said child will inherent any or all desirable socially attractive traits of either parent. That being said, I would like a word with my parents over two entirely uncontrollable aspects of my appearance; my hair and my fingernails. Both items I mention are curly. While one might love curly hair if they possess straight, let me assure you that those of us with curly would probably kill if it would magically transform our outrageously uncontrollable locks to something that can actually be brushed on a daily basis without creating the hideousnous that is frzz.

My hair, like many people’s, refuses to obey anything I do to it. This is not to say that it cannot, on occasion, look fabulous, but that is entirely up to how it has chosen to behave or not on any given day. I used to believe that most things in my life could be affected by my choices, but my hair is, ironically enough, completely on it’s own. It has decided to be abundant in number, yet fine, more like cotton candy in feel then the beautiful thick silk on Jedi’s head. Betrayed is how I felt when at the age of 9, G-d felt it was okay to just add curly, crazy hair on top of the crisis of early puberty. So, not only was I entering the mysterious world of maxi pads and bras, one that I not so thrilled about, the other I was a bit excited to wear, but I was also dealing with this Q-tip-like mop.

Jedi and I recently took a trip to Niagara Falls. We were already in Buffalo for my cousin’s wedding, so we figured we would skip over to see the natural wonder and beauty of Niagara…on the Canadian side, of course. I say, “of course” because the American side is desolate and not so tourist friendly. I’m unsure if that’s because you cannot get a good glimpse of the Falls from that side, or if it has to do with economic infastructure in Northern New York. Either way, it is a shame. Back to my hair…do you know what high humidity does to curly, fine, fly-away hair? Well, all I can say is it is NOT a good combination. I looked like I just finished sticking my finger in a light socket for the majority of the day. This was not at all good considering we dined in a rather nice restaurant that evening. It was with great relief that I glimpsed a woman at a nearby table who looked equally bedraggled.

My nails are a total failure in structure. You see, my nails curl over the ends of my fingers, but of course, just to be different, it is only the first and middle fingers that do this. My remaining 6 fingers have perfectly beautiful long, straight, and dare-I-say, even white nails that can only be grown out with their curly counterparts all askew right nextdoor. Why, you ask, do I not have acrilic nails installed on the offending digits? To put it succinctly, I am lazy. It is rare that I enjoy being away from home or work for body-beauty related maintainence (massages are NOT included in this category as I consider them luxury and well worth the travel). I deplore having to get my eyebrows waxed (despite loving the results) and am known to go weeks without taming the furry caterpillers. I don’t mind the pain, it’s the scheduling and going I mind. Once I am there or at a nail salon, I don’t mind the services, it’s the upkeep that is a killer.

Perhaps it is not a matter of finding fault with my inherited attributes, perhaps it is just finding more time in my day to actually tame them. And the want to do-so…but for now kvetching seems entirely satisfying.